Hi everyone! Happy June! Happy Summer! No card today, only photographs and writing! It's been a long time since I sat down and wrote something meaningful here, and spoke from my heart about life and what's going on with me. Today seemed like the right day for that. I went to a great local blogger meet-up event a couple of weeks ago here in Sacramento and everyone was talking about writing. It struck me hard – how much I love to write and how much I've missed it. I've been caught up on posting lots and lots of cards but not really writing.
I've been going through a depression of sorts and when that happens to me, I tend to lay low and hibernate myself at home and isolate myself from people and places. I have been keeping to myself and watching too much TV. It's not the best thing, but it is my coping mechanism for times when I feel like I need to sort things out and regroup and mend myself. I've distanced myself away from people. Some things have happened to me in the past six months or so that have really thrown me for a loop. I'm having a hard time – there I admitted it. I have always been the person who says "I'm fine, I'm fine" when I'm just not. That's my past telling me that no one cares if I'm fine anyway, so just keep it in and don't risk it. I think it's so much a part of my personality that people don't even ask me how I am. The assumption is that I'm fine. The funny thing is, usually I am fine – great even. Mostly because of my strong faith. However, this time around I'm just struggling to boost myself back up and out into the world. It's taking me a lot longer than normal to reach my evening out point and it's been sort of scary. It's harder to be creative when I'm in this state and I've been struggling there too. So I've been organizing a lot and putting our house in order. This helps the chaos in my brain!!! I do love to organize. Heck, and now our house is clean. There's that.
I'm not sure I totally love working from home. I always used to tell people I didn't think it was for me, and turns out I was right! I am lonely here all day when my friends are at work or taking care of their kids. I miss the office life – even though that life was very hard at the end for me. I miss catching up with people and having someone stop by my office to say hey. I really miss working with other people as a team. Like really miss that. If you ask my former work friends they will say that I was the social butterfly of the office. And just like that after 30 years of being in a huge office full of people, I'm just sitting here by myself all day. It's weird! And I always feel like I'm bugging someone if I interrupt their day with a text or email while they are working. I think I'm still adjusting to this different life. I am super grateful for what I have…and it is an adjustment. Everything in life is about balance right? I'm definitely out of balance. Working on that as we speak – made some plans with a fellow blogger for next week to hang out. I love to share ideas with people. It's almost been two years since I left my corporate job and I'm not really making enough money yet being on my own. I'm trying not to panic yet. I have faith it will come. It takes time to build up enough clients and enough work.
What's up with me? A couple of things happened in close succession and knocked me down. Recently, for the first time in my entire life, I was bullied. I really do not want to talk about the specifics of what happened, but the results of that situation are astonishing me. I now realize how lucky I was to never have been through that as a child or young adult. Because it is awful. I'm an old girl, and I've been through a lot of tough times in my life. But this? Shook.me.up. Hard. You know how you have those moments in life where you know that after that moment you will be a different person? And there's no going back, nothing you can do about it? That. Shocking. My entire life has been a series of things in which I have had to overcome obstacles, and take care of myself. I am very proud of that. And through it all, I've stayed an optimistic and happy soul. I am fearful that part of my world view is gone and I will not be the same optimistic and happy soul. Maybe it will come back?? Time takes care of these things. But I've been through a lot of things and always managed to stay optimistic and it's hard for me right now – to not become cynical and jaded. I never want to be one of those people who is closed off, but man, I totally get it now. A lesson in compassion indeed.
I've also gone through something else at the same time – and it's something we don't really talk about – having your heart broken by a friend. I've had my heart broken. There, I said that out loud too. Has this happened to you? Someone you were so connected to, just waltzes right on out of the picture and you're just standing there. I feel like a cartoon – shaking my head with that weird wobbly noise. WH-ATTTT happened? So I tried to ask them in emails and even in person what happened and this friend just said – nothing – everything is fine. When it so obviously is not fine. OBVIOUSLY. It's one of two things: either I did something that hurt or bothered the person, or they just don't like me anymore. Either way is terrible!! What do you do with that? Especially when the person denies you the answer. I think that part is worse than the break up. Don't ever do that to someone – make them feel like they're crazy when they put their heart on the line to ask. Tell them. It was interesting (no coincidences) that right after this happened to me, not one, but two, of my friends from the past spoke to me about why we are not friends anymore. I was super honest with both of them and tried to ease their burden. I told them my side of the story in love and honesty. And now we all can have clear communication and healing. Best outcome. It is so hard to confront someone about this. I'm so so so sad. It has been just like a break up. Thinking about it every night before I go to sleep, wondering what I did. I'm so afraid I will never open up to another person in friendship like that. Like maybe that was the last time I will make a new friend. Sounds dramatic, to be sure, but I feel that wonky about it. I know with certainty that God has a plan and that each relationship has a specific purpose. Some people are friends and some people are lessons. Some are both. This whole situation has made me even more aware of how I treat people. Life is HARD. So if I can make someone's day easier I'm all about it.
Of course everything is not all negative!!! I'm just struggling. Finding my new me. I feel like I can't trust my judgement about people and I don't want to get hurt again (at least not any time soon). After things happen that change you it feels weird. Like trying on a new pair of shoes. They're gonna give you blisters for a while. Feel uncomfortable until they're broken in. I'm a different Wanda than I was a year ago. I don't know what to make of it all yet. Growth and change almost always equals pain and tribulation. I know that the master silversmith is refining me daily. It helps for me to write, that's for sure. I hope you can relate and I hope maybe it helps to know that whatever you're going through – you're not alone out there. If you ever want to talk to me, you email me or Facebook message me. I don't want anyone to be sad alone. I've been blogging for almost 8 years now and you guys lift me up all the time. ALL THE TIME. Your comments and your sweet words, and some of you have become friends. It's so wonderful. And I thank you!! You guys are the reason I blog – for the human connection we can all find here. If I can facilitate that, then I am super happy to do so. Crafting is very personal and can be such a great way to connect with others.
I have been blessed with a wonderful life partner and husband who takes care of me. THANK GOD. It's coming up on our 24 year anniversary and the hubs surprised me by buying us tickets to go see Theresa Caputo in person. I LOVE her. I cannot wait for that (the 24th) and I'll be sure to share all about it. Do you guys love that show too??? I cannot wait to see what happens live.
I've been hanging around with a group of fellow creatives here in town lately too – over the past few months. Sacramento is really starting to have a budding, organized creative community and it is so awesome. Most everyone is younger than me, and their energy and enthusiasm is infectious. We do meet ups, and lectures on topics that apply to business and creating. They are also non judgmental as a whole. No one cares what you wear, or how old you are, or what you're blogging about. No one is competing – we are all trying to network, to help each other be our best, and find work, get paid for our work, and make our city a better place.
Lots of you might not know that in addition to being a professional crafter/blogger, I am also a professional photographer. I have been a photographer since I was 15 years old (and that's a long time)! My first job was at a camera store and I worked there all through high school and during college breaks. I know how to develop B&W and color film and B&W and color photographs too, and slides!! Photography is in my blood!! I can't even remember a time when I didn't have a camera in my hand. My uncle owns a camera store, and my cousin is a cinematographer. Currently I take photos for websites, stores, shops and restaurants to use in their social media, their print ads, catalogs, and websites. I've wanted to be a professional photographer my entire life. It's finally happening. This is what I'm focusing on (pun intended) to get me through this difficult time I'm going through. My camera and my photos are how I interact with the world. It brings me great comfort.
Dreams can come true at any time in your life so stay ready. God will take care of it according to His perfect plan for your life. I believe that. That is where my strength comes from. Thanks for reading this post today. Thanks for supporting me.
So with all of that being said, I want to share some recent photographs I've taken of the beautiful place I call home. Spring and early Summer are gorgeous here in Northern California. The earth is in full blooming color and it is magic. Time to be outside in the fresh air, planting flowers, and eating delicious fresh food – straight from the farm. There is nothing like eating warm, juicy, strawberries that were picked five minutes ago and still smell like the earth. Enjoy!
Lake Tahoe at Emerald Bay – still snow in late May!!
Bridalveil Falls at Highway 50, El Dorado County.
Squaw Valley Meadow – early evening
These are my favorite Nikko Blue Hydrangeas that are planted in my front yard! One bush is already TEN feet tall this year and the other one is about six feet tall. There are hundreds of mopheads already. I love to bring them inside and have them all over the house and in my studio. We got married in Cape Cod and I had hydrangeas in my wedding bouquet. I planted these as a reminder of that time and place. I definitely left my heart there!
The most handsome cat in the world – just getting up from a nap! BUDDY!!
A favorite restaurant of mine – Selland's on Broadway in Sacramento.
Burgers & Brew on R Street in Sacramento
The rest of these photos are from local Farmstands, the Nursery, and the Farmer's Market!!
I will be back on Monday with a card for the new Hero Arts Monthly Card Kit! Thanks for coming by today! XOXO
Comments
83 responses to “Checking in and catching up! This post is from my heart today…”
Wanda!!! (((hugs)))
I don’t know you and rarely comment, but I have to let you know how much I admire this post. It is hard to share personal stuff, but sometimes it can really help.
I am so glad you felt like you could share so much with those of us who come here to look at your gorgeous cards and amazing photography. I believe there are better days ahead for you.
Wanda, I’ve been a follower of yours but have probably never really stood out to you, I think. It’s funny that I follow bloggers on their blogs, instagram accounts, you tube videos, etc but they probably have no idea who I am nor recognize my name. Anyway, just know that your not alone. I’m suffering from a bought of depression and I too, am having a hard time coming out of it. I get SAD (seasonal affective disorder ) throughout the winter months. Usually once Spring hits, I’m ok but not yet this year. I don’t know why but I’m hanging on hoping that each day/week gets better. Needless to say, I hope things turn over for you. It’s hard stuff. And about your friendships, well I’m not sure what to say beause I’ve isolated myself for so long that I barely have any friends left. I wish you better days. Love n light, Michelle
Wanda you are so darn inspiring to me! Thank you for your words and know that you are not alone. I’ve been struggling a bit this year also with my emotions, a new phase in my life and some friend changes. It has left me feeling a bit unbalanced, but also in some ways, grateful for the changes. I’ll be praying for you. <3
Adore you for your honesty, creativity, infectious laughter and the beautiful card in my mailbox that has brightened my day… stay strong. It’s funny, I’ve recently changed jobs and I just told hubby, “I forgot how much I love the social buzz of an office!” So I get it!!! I agree with Joan, brighter days ahead. Love.
I LOVE YOU WANDA.
You are so gifted and so brave to share these things – I hope you understand that it’s such a gift to people who feel the same way and could never say it at all, much less in such a beautiful, kind way.
I wish you could come over.
xxoo
Hi Wanda, I can relate to so much of what you have shared and I admire you for talking about it.
I also work from home in the craft industry and the trade off for getting to work in my jammies is the loneliness, those feelings of being isolated. It’s certainly not helped by the other struggles you’ve been experiencing, I’m so sorry you’ve been hurt.
It’s too bad we live in opposite ends of the state, it would be nice to sit and encourage each other over a cup of coffee.
Wishing you renewed peace and joy!
You are such an amazing person. I am glad that you were able to share the burden, I know that was a hard decision. I have had similar circumstances and still to this day never understood what happened with my “friend” I am sorry that you are going through that. It is hard because there is so much self doubt and questioning… I resolved myself to the thought that we just outgrew each other. I love your creative work and hope that you will feel more creative soon! Your photography is absolutely awe inspiring! I am glad that you have that during these hard times. Sending good thoughts your way! Don’t give up 😘
Wanda, I am a newer blog follower but this post has really touched my heart! I am a Christian and I love your heart for the Lord! I also love how honest you are. I have a feeling we have pretty similar personalities. I am also a social butterfly but even though I work in an office I have a somewhat solitary job at times. It’s a struggle. I have been burned by many people as well and it’s made me hold back from forming friendships. I always have considered myself a positive, upbeat person but have had my share of struggles with depression as well. I never seem to realize it until I am on “the other side” of a bout of it. Hang in there, you are a beautiful person! Love your blog, your photos and your crafty creations! 🙂
Natalie W
Omaha, NE
❤️
Thank you for your post … you can’t begin to imagine how much it means to read. I love to follow creative people like yourself. Of course, I assume because your posts are so beautiful that all aspects of your life are too. For different reasons, lots of people think my life is perfect too! Sometimes I want to scream – if you only knew!! Anyway, I could relate to every paragraph you beautifully wrote. Keep pushing through – depression is tough! False friends can break your heart – but don’t give up on all friends. Thank you for sharing – you are helping so many people who need to know they are not alone.
Two side notes … first, you are an amazing artist! Your photography blows me away and as a card crafter … well, I hope it is ok to say – but you are one of my favorites to copy. Despite paper crafting for over 15 years – I not so talented, I just love doing it. Second, I have worked from home for years. Loneliness is real – make a lunch/coffee date at least once a week. Join a couple of social groups. It makes a huge difference.
Oh Wanda. I’m not sure why I’m balling my eyes out while reading your blog post (definitely a great thing about working from home – you can have a good cry whenever you need to). Thank you for pouring your heart out. I can totally relate to some of the things you’ve gone through. You are an inspiration and your photos are amazing!!!
I am so honored I got to meet you in Phoenix this year at creativation. I was bullied as a child and as hard as I’ve tried even having my faith, counseling, my husband, I still can’t shake it sometimes. I love the crafters I met but sometimes even then I’m careful. Your message was well said thank you for sharing.
Ahhhh my dear friend,
The struggles that we share. The loneliness of depression. Of being abandoned by “friends”. Of feeling confused by life and what’s going on around us. But, girl? You constantly lift me up and fill my soul with love and compassion. You are such a warm, giving, inspirational, and creative human being. And I can’t imagine not having such a wonderful friend like you in my life. I thank GOD everyday for you!!
Thank you for sharing your heart, your feelings, and your struggles. You are so brave and so very loved. ♥ ♥ ♥
You are the best! Love ❤️ you and always will!
Wanda, of course you are a photographer I should have known, the quality of your photos is fantastic and I’ve always loved them.
I have had 2 friends walk out of my life with no reason given. I do try and treat it like a break up and while they suck it’s entirely possible it’s all on the other person. Sometimes people leave rather than talk.
Huge hugs to you, my sweet friend! Thank you for sharing your heart with us! I know that is not easy, and I salute you for it! And I think the world of you! And so hope I get to hug you in person soon! <3
Thank you so much for your honesty and sharing your thoughts/experiences…it is never easy to open up but just know you have many crafty friends around the globe that appreciate your thoughts and creative works of art! Thank you for all of your kindnesses and encouraging words you have shown to the world!! 🙂
Sorry to hear that you are going through a rough patch. Hope things are starting to look up for you. Remember that you have a kind heart, beautiful style and eyes for design. The world needs more people like you! Sending warm hugs!
I don’t know you personally, Wanda but, I had to tell you how much your post touched my heart. I follow your blog and your work. I think you are so talented and your photography is amazing! I can relate to what you said about a friend hurting your heart. I have been in this situation several times in my life. It is so painful. And yes, there are seasons for friendships. Just know you are admired and loved by so many! Stay strong and enjoy the warmer days to refresh your soul! Much Love, Claire
Wanda, you are an amazingingly talented lady whom I have admired for a very long time. I admire you even more today after reading your post. It’s hard being honest about such personal matters. I’m sorry you’re going through so much at one time. Your friend break-up kind of struck me as I’ve had the same thing happen, although it was a few years ago. It’s so hard (and hurtful) not knowing what happened, how it happened or even why it happened. And being bullied? Dear, dear girl. I’m so sorry. All in all, it sounds like you are doing all the right things to get your happy back. Sending you a great big hug. (And I LOVE your creations and your photos!) 🙂
Wanda your words spoke straight to my heart and I send big hugs your way. I can identify with so many of the situations and feelings you have shared. I pray that things will get better in time. Your photographs are so beautiful! Thanks so much for sharing your heART and artistry with all of us! God bless!!
I don’t know you, but wanted to send you some virtual hugs! Your post is so heartfelt and it hit very close to home. I just wanted you to know that I follow you on Instagram because of your amazing talent and your pictures are beautiful as well, but your writing showcases your beautiful soul! Thank you for sharing something that it is always difficult to share. Sending prayers, hugs and positive vibes your way! There are so many of us who look forward to your posts on social media…thank you for always brightening our days..I hope we can do the same for you! ❤
I’m sorry that things have been a struggle for you this year. Life has a way of challenging us when we least expect it, and and In ways we never seem to imagine. Your photos are phenomenal and your obviously have an eye for beauty and the talent to share it with others. That will somehow be the key that gets you through this turmoil. Blessings to you.
You have a heart of gold and I am so glad to call you a friend….beautiful pictures my friend.
Wanda, I’m such a fan of your work and you’re constantly inspiring me. Thank you so much for sharing this heartfelt post. I’m so sorry that you’ve been struggling. I’m sending good thoughts your way!
Sometimes it takes time for our lives to find their center again. Your faith and optimistic outlook will help you get there. Your photographs are gorgeous. My daughter-in-law had a bouquet of beautiful blue hydrangeas in her wedding. I think that’s funny because she is an artist and photographer too. Wishing you all the best!
I just love you, dear girl! I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone thru and are going thru….you’re right, experiences change us and sometimes we aren’t ever the same person. But, hopefully we can become better versions of ourselves :)….still trying to find the better version of “me” here.
Sure love working with you…you’re truly a bright, fresh, happy, beautiful, creative spot in this world. Never forget!
Melis
Wanda, one thing is certain – you are an AMAZING!! God always gives you his strength, his wisdom, and his LOVE!! God bless you, dear my friend!
Dear, dear Wanda, You wrote my heart, girl. This has been on my heart & mind so much lately as well. I’ve been formulating my own writing on the subject for some time now, and with lots of prayer. I love you to pieces…your heart, your warmth, your style, your kindness, just every single thing about YOU. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal struggle. I KNOW it will help many. {{{squishy hugs}}} from the Cape Cod side of things…COME BACK!!! 🙂
Hello Wanda – I am saddened to hear that you have been dealing with such hurtful events, gosh, someone has lost a jewel!! I am glad that you live in such a beautiful artistic area where other friends are by your side!! Take care and know that you are loved!!!XOXO
Sorry for your troubles, friend, and we miss you here at THIS office! Sounds like praying, writing and journaling might be a great prescription for you until you have had the chance to adjust. In His time, TZ
Sorry for your troubles, friend, and we miss you here at THIS office! Sounds like praying, writing and journaling might be a great prescription for you until you have had the chance to adjust. In His time, TZ
My heart breaks that you are sad! You are so talented. I work from home and when people tell me how lucky I am I tell them it is the hardest thing I have EVER done. I miss the friendship and day to day talks and hellos of my office. I just keep plugging away knowing that me doing this is better for my family. I guess I have taken “one for the team” for 20 years. It gets to me sometimes. Isolation is really really hard. I have found that I have lost many of my friends because I find myself working ALL THE TIME…. I never seem to leave it. And when I do I end up just going to bed! Terrible. If I figure out how to get out of it I will let you know. I spend so much time at my computer that I feel like the screen is sucking me in. Really awful. My most fun breaks are when my teenage daughter’s friends come to craft. (She is graduating this year UGGHH!) I just realized I am not making you feel any better, I guess misery loves company.
As for the person that bullied you….
This is a great quote. I think I should ask K Werner to write it…. “Those that matter don’t mind; those that mind don’t matter.” People just change, and sometimes just small changes by both can leave a big divide. I think I have given up on much of my socializing. (the older I get the stranger everyone else is!) I think friendships naturally ebb and flow. I have told my daughter for many years that Friends are like shoes. Sometimes you have to wear shoes that pinch and are uncomfortable, but you HAVE to wear them if you want to do something special. There are some shoes like ski boots, that you wear only for a special activity, and you don’t wear them again for another year…but they are still important in your life. There are shoes that are so comfortable that you would wear them every day if you could, or you love them so much that you don’t want to wear them often for fear of them wearing out….. There are shoes you never wear, but you love them and would never give them up! And sometimes there are shoes that you simply grow out of. It doesn’t mean the shoes are bad, it just means that your feet changed… or the shoes went out of style. Funny to think about. I challenge you to think of a metaphor that doesn’t “fit”. You seem like such a lovely person, I hope you can find peace in your new life style! There are loads of shoes to be tried on!!!!
Hi Wanda! First, I am a huge fan of your work! Second, I don’t normally comment too much on blogs but after reading your post today I felt compelled to leave a message. It is so brave of you to publish such a heartfelt message! I can completely relate to many of the things you have touched on. I also withdraw when I am feeling down, with the intention of not bringing others down. But the reality is that emotions are real and we shouldn’t be afraid to hide them. So I think it’s fantastic that you opened up! I hope things get better for you soon! You have many virtual supporters!! Hugs to you!!
I’m proud to call you my friend and very proud of you for sharing your personal struggles on this blog. I read each of the responses above and hope you know how much people DO care about you and want you to succeed. Keeping you in my heart and in my prayers 💕💕💕
Hi Wanda, sorry to hear that you have been feeling blue, I have followed your blog for awhile now, and I love your creative work and your stories about your trips and pictures when you share them. I was so excited when you recently joined the Papertrey Ink DT. I just had a workshop today on emotional intelligence and your post is a great example of that, acknowledging how you are feeling and thinking about what it will take to move on. I am so sorry you are feeling bad, you seem like a person who would be a great friend to have! Love your pictures, and to add a question- my daughter also loves photography, has been taking pictures since she was old enough to know what a camera was, she has a scrapbook from when she was about 4 where she took “artsy” pictures of the furniture at her grandmother’s house. She wants to study photojournalism/journalism/media production in college. She just had her 18th birthday and she wanted a new lens for her camera. The other thing she wanted was a film camera, so my question for you,is that a practical thing to still own in the digital age as a photographer? I was thinking it is not very practical, but would love to hear your thoughts and love to hear your story, I will share with her and continue to encourage her to follow her dream.
Hugs to you! I always love your photos and your cards! You will get thru this! Keep pushing forward each day whether it is an inch or a great big step! We are here to cheer you along!
Thank you so much for your honesty and your story. We do not know each other beyond me being a fan girl of your work (lol), but I had to reach out and tell you that I feel like you told my story in your blog. I recently stopped working in the office due to health issues. To add insult to injury I had a friend drop me too. Your words are true, “just tell me what Idid wrong”! Unfortunately I never found out but she did take the whole group with her, leaving me friendless after 10 years with these gals! Or do I thought. I opened up like you did today and the result was fantastic. I had a chance to reconnect with some of my old work friends that I had let the relationship lapse because I left the office. They introduced me to card making and I found peace and friendship where I least suspected it. Everything happens for a reason. God may have closed that door, but walk down the hall. Turn the other door knobs. And look for an open window too. It’s there!
Best, Stefanie White
{{{Wanda!}}} I’m sorry for the pain that you’ve been experiencing. You’re right about pain and growth going together, but that doesn’t make it any more fun. I think you’re very brave to be open. I’m not that brave, for sure, but I do empathize, truly, and I’m asking God to bless and heal you.
Your work is truly beautiful–both your paper crafting AND your photographs! That Lake Tahoe one make me want to pull out my markers and color it! A big cyber hug to you–warm and squishy!
Being so real and honest isnt easy! Thank you!!! My MO is the same… RETREAT. Head for cover and dont come out until the coast is clear but keep fighting for wholeness and I am praying with and for you. And I am not a reader of tons of blogs but I first came across yours from a blog hop and LOVED IT. LOVED your writing style and wit. We are not perfect and life can be tricky.. keep up the good fight sweet woman!
I’m so sorry to hear what has been going on, Wanda. You are such a nice person and it saddens me to know that you have been struggling lately. I’m a firm believer that everything does happen for a reason, even if you do not know it at the time. Things happen to make us stronger, even if it’s not nice going through it at the time. That being said, I hope things start to improve for you soon. I’m so happy to hear that you have met lots of new creatives and enjoying spending time with them. Although we are in different time zones, if you ever feel lonely, please do not hesitate to email or send me a message. I hate to think of you being lonely when you are so kind to others. Oh and your photos are stunning. I wish you all the best with your photography business! Sending hugs!
Hello Wanda- this was indeed heartfelt. U r an amazing photographer and a constant inspiration. Being depressed can make things look overwhelming. Being bullied can be hard. The good part is u are aware it happened rather than not know what hit u. Be steady, u r taking small steps, ur writing, ur meeting others, ur engaging others through words. Keep building that momentum. Some things that help- physical activity, eating fresh foods, sleeping well and avoiding drugs. I know right now u r hurting with ur friend being gone but hopefully in time u can remember all the good times and make new memories with new ones. Each one teaches us a new way of love- some for a short period and some for a long time. May God take care of u.
Thank you, dear soul, for sharing your story in such a heartfelt way. It will touch and encourage many people who struggle with these rough patches. I send you hugs and very best wishes for you moving through this time with love and grace.
Wanda, I was so touched by your post. It was in many ways a reflection of myself. I admire your honesty and courage in expressing your thoughts and feelings. It has made me feel a little better about myself this morning. Your photography is gorgeous. I have lived on the Cape my entire life and am anxiously waiting for my many varieties of hydrangeas to bloom. Sea breezes and scents of salt air drifting your way via blogland!
Dear Wanda,
Hugs to you, special lady! While I have followed your blog for some time and have always been a huge fan of your work-cards and photography, I haven’t let you know how much I always look forward to your posts. You are an artist and I am so envious. I can copy one of your cards, but could never have come up with the original in a million years. Creating is good for the soul, yours and mine, original or not. So, thank you for posting your artwork to inspire people like me.
As to the emotional stuff, I feel sad you have to go through this crap (and it is crap!). The loss of your friend and the loss of optimism are going to take some time to get through and it’s going to be painful for a while, so don’t be hard on yourself and think you have to fix it all right now. There is no set time line for grief and not everyone deals with it the same way. Since you seem like a wonderful, thoughtful, and of strong faith, I just know you will find the best way for YOU to get through this unbalanced time in your life.
I am going to throw out a suggestion and it’s up to you to decide what to do with it-perhaps you could volunteer one day a week to get out of the house and see people. One of the best ways to get over a funk is to help others. It works for me and it might work for you.
Again, hugs to you, Wanda, from a huge fan of yours, Cindy
Wanda, thanks for your post, sorry to hear you have been suffering! we read your posts and see your happy and colored cards not knowing what is behind!, i would love to hug you in person, but I can’t, so i just want to remind you: YOU ARE ENOUGH, and God loves you very much. I am here whenever you need.
Hugs to you for writing this post. Most of what you wrote I can relate to. I started to cry reading this because I thought I was the only one that hides in front of the TV. I also experienced losing a friend for reasons I don’t know. You described it perfectly how I felt. You give me inspiration that this funk I am going through will pass and I will get my mojo back! Thank you for sharing!!
Wanda, I hope all of these comments show you that you are loved by many–some people you know and some you don’t know. I hope your sadness turns to joy soon. Hugs!
I got to the fourth paragraph and just started weeping uncontrollably because I have faced a similar heartbreak, with my first child, my beloved daughter. From a close relationship to a distance so profound that when I am faced with spending time with her I am fearful, sad and would choose to pass up a visit rather than to face the distance. It is so very painful to have your heart broken in such a way.
Prayers for healing and better days. Thank you for sharing.
I feel your pain and am still going through the same. Your post reminded me that I’m not alone in this feeling and that life happens but that we control how it affects us by regrouping, recharging, and recognizing. Thank you so much for sharing your life with us and know that we’re praying for you. You are one of my favs and I always look forward to your posts and projects!
Oh look at all the sweet hugs of comfort and encouragement you are receiving. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers and are not alone. I know how you feel, I’ve been through it too. It’s hard. It sure can make you examine everything, doesn’t it?! And that can make us either bitter or better. Thankfully you have the Lord to help you and I know you can rely on His strength to overcome and I know you are better for it. Look at all that outpour of love encouragement here! If that doesn’t just give you some joy bumps (instead of goose bumps! ha!) I don’t know what will. Grace and peace to you!
PS. Love the photos! You always inspire me.
Wanda you are my dearest friend. Our friendship has grown over the years that we have known each other. People can be incredibly cruel and when we are on the receiving end of the cruelty it is very hard to not be affected forevermore. I have always admired you and hold you in highest esteem. Those that shun you are not worth the pain. The pain does need to be experienced but when done you get to move on and they stay stuck. Your ability to rise above and continue on will never leave you. God, being your anchor, will get you through this. Just know that I love you and you are my very dearest friend.
P.S. your amazing creativity and the beauty you bring to others is a true gift. God Bless
I am so glad you shared your concerns and maybe just that alone will help you cope better with your depression. And, your photography is amazing. You certainly are talented in more ways then one as I always love to see your wonderful cards. I hope things will soon be better for you and maybe the nice summery days will bring you joy again! Hang in there!
Big Hugs~! You are a beautiful amazing person and have such a beautiful soul. Sometimes our lives just need purging too. So happy to hear that you are pushing forward. Life is worth it and true friendship is too. Been trying to teach my daughter these lessons at 14. She has a friend that is brutally honest with her to the point of cruelty and she is drawn back into the friendship. On one hand it makes me angry but on the other hand it is nice that she is so honest. So hard to choose which is better but after reading your blog. I feel honesty is the best policy. Working at home would be definitely hard for me. I’m just getting used to staying home all day on a day off. Used to have to go somewhere, couldn’t stay home all day but with crafting makes it more fun to stay home. LOL. I absolutely need social contact daily. Can only talk to the family so much 🙂 Keep your chin up and above the water of chaos! Big Hugs!
PS your photography is amazing. I would even try to each a radish looking at them.
Hey,there, fellow Californian. Don’t you just love all the different scenes in this great state? At the time I finished drooling your wonderful photos I was smelling the earth and hearing a waterfall. I too, have lost what I thought was a treasured work friend. I am no longer in that poisonous situation. I am a changed person. I have reconciled myself with the fact I will never be as I was then. It has effected by crafting also. Just know your beautiful art and photography will pull you though. So here is a hug for you!
Big hugs to you, Wanda. I just know you’ve helped a lot of people today by sharing your story. Even though I know it can’t be true, I “see” someone on social media and imagine that their lives are super fabulous and much more interesting than mine. In the end, it always comes down to all of us being human and sharing the exact same emotions, no matter who we are and no matter where we live in this world. Thanks for opening up and I hope it helps you too. You are so creative and I love all the beautiful things you share with us!
You are awesome! Thank you for sharing what you’re going thru. I know you’ll be on the other side of all this with a HUGE smile on your face very soon. Your photos are FABULOUS! Thanks for sharing them. I look forward to seeing more.
Oh, Wanda! Sorry to hear that you are struggling with certain people. I went through a very difficult time with one of my sisters recently. My pastor helped me realize that she is a child of God just as I am. The vision he gave me is that each one of us are being held by God at the same time and that he loves us equally. I don’t know why, but the vision just helped me. We had a family get-together the following week and I just felt so much better. I had forgiveness in my heart for her. Things are not perfect between us, but I learned to let it go. She will always be the way she is, but I can let go and love her. It could be that your friend is struggling with something that she doesn’t want to admit to. So, it is on her, Wanda. You did your best. God doesn’t want you to keep owning it if you did your best about the situation. I don’t mean to get preachy here, but just feel these are the words that are flowing to help. You are a sweet person. You are blessed and very creative. It takes time, but I know you will feel better about things. I retired two years ago myself and feel disconnected at times. But, I slowly see things coming into my path that are meant to be with church and crafty things with friends. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. And, thank you so much for sharing those gorgeous photos! You are talented in so many ways! Take good care, hugs!!
Well, all the comments should assure you have many, many friends around you. We care about you and enjoy your creativity, trips and photos! As for the “friend” you lost, it was her not you. Don’t sweat it!
Volunteering is a way of working without giving up creative time. You decide the hours and days and the hospital, library, museum, school, etc. will love you for it! Some photographers have been taking photos of the animals at the rescue centers. It helps the critters get adopted.
Wanda, I just wanted to thank you for this honest, heartfelt post. I think it’s touched more people than you’ll ever know and has helped a lot of us in a variety of ways. I’m so sorry you’re going through all of these things and I think you’re right, transition is always hard, but what comes out on the other side, is always better. I’m also going through a sort of depression–my husband and I don’t have kids (by choice), but we had a beloved kitty and 2 sibling Dalmatians. We’ve had to put all three down in the last 10.5 months (we had to put our kitty down on May 3 and our last doggy yesterday). We’re so empty and sad. I’ve also had work issues and loss of friendships in the past few years, too. So you’re definitely not alone, nor are your readers and that’s why it was so nice to be reminded of this. We all share this thing called “the human experience,” but sometimes don’t talk about certain things (like the loss of friendships), but we all go through them. I’ve been following your blog and IG for a while now, and I know what an inspiration you are to so many people. You are so incredibly talented (in your photography, card making and I have a feeling you’re a great cook, too!)I wish I lived near you because I think we’d be friends. 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing your life with us.
Just seeing these wonderful photos make me know your world is full of beauty. You will come through these trials in great shape. I have a younger sister who has totally disconnected with our family and none of us have a clue why. My oldest brother passed in February and she never came to the service or reached out to any of his children. Life is short and we need each other. I appreciate you and look forward to seeing your work and inspiration. Sending hugs and my prayer for you is be well…..
Hang in there. You are blessed and I am bless to have your blog to stop by when I have the time.
Thank you for a wonderful reminder that we are all human. I loved your blog post today. There are no guarantees in life but if we try to live honest, love our God and be grateful each day, I think we’re doing pretty good. Your photos are inspiring and beautiful and if I met you I know you would be a person I would enjoy as a friend. I also suffer from some of the things you mentioned and some days it’s SO hard. I hope at some point you can have peace and realize that you are a good person. I’m so sorry your faith in “friends” has been shattered. It seems that you are on the right path to letting it go and moving on. By the way, I think your card designs are over the top fantastic! Sending lots of hugs your way. ❤️
Wanda – what a heartfelt post! I’m praying for you and will keep you in my prayers. My own heart has been going through some struggles lately as well and I admire you for being brave to share something so deeply personal.
Your beautiful cards always inspire me, as do your photos. Wow! I especially adored your gerbera daisy photo and your hydrangea – stunning!
Wanda – wow I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through some things and am sending good thoughts and hugs your way! It will work out – everything happens for a reason. I really believe that whether it’s good or bad there’s a reason behind it. And it makes you a stronger and better person!
I must say your photos are STUNNING! You are very talented! Keep your chin up and know that we adore you and feel honored that you are sharing your heart with us!
Keep the faith and happy anniversary – enjoy that concert!!!!!
Dear sweet Wanda! It hurt my heart to read that you of all people would be struggling in such a way! I realize that I only “know you” through your work and what you have shared through your blog posts but even I know you are a kind and thoughtful person. How could anyone who knows you personally not see your genuine heart? I have been through the same thing you described with a SIL and tried to talk to her, only to be told it was “all in my head” and I was being “tetchy”! I was trying to reach out and make right whatever I said or did to offend her. She shut me down. That was 8 yrs. ago. After a long period of depression over it, I have finally come to realize I don’t need those kind of “friends”, family or otherwise! It can suck us down to a place no one should ever be in. I prefer people like you as a friend (albeit a cyber friend! LOL), at least I know you are genuine! (Please don’t feel like you are ever alone. Do as you have done today…reach out, post, call a real friend but don’t suffer alone! My email is: elyod.aseret@gmail.com if you ever need to vent! LOL {{{HUGS & PRAYERS going out to YOU}}}
As for Theresa Caputo, you lucky dog! OMGoodness, I LOVE her! I will be waiting for a LONG post about that!
I just love your photographs! Ther’re breathtakingly gorgeous. I hope you soon discover the reason when your friend is no longer in your life. Who knows–the good Lord my be protecting you from something much more devastating in the long run. We aren’t supposed to understand everything & that’s tough some times. It sounds like you have many blessings in your life, so please don’t worry about the things you can’t control. Your crafting community sounds amazing! Enjoy your summer & thanks for the inspiration you give us!
Oh my goodness girl! How I can relate so much to the loneliness and kind of sort of missing an office or a place to connect with people. Oh and the depression. I have clammed up a lot more lately. Just no desire and nothing to share makes it that much harder. I am so sorry about the friendships and the struggles. I try not to think of some past things myself. Thank you for sharing. It takes a lot to do this and it is like you are sitting down talking with me and us. I love you, girl!! You won’t be getting rid of me!! ❤️❤️❤️
Wanda, wow, can I just say, you are amazing. Your description of bullying (only happened once to me too) was so accurate, and my heart hurts for you and for everyone else who has experienced it. But through that issue, and work and friends, your positive and faith-filled outlook is just so awesome to see!
I know I’m not a regular here at your blog (I actually avoid following blogs and social media closely, because of that one bullying incident), but I’ve always been impressed by your projects, photography, writing and heart! I just love how positive and warm you are whenever you participate in the Hero Arts blog hops.
Adding my virtual hug to everyone else’s – you are amazing, Wanda!
Hello Wanda, I don’t comment on blog posts, but your words really spoke to me. You have been in my thoughts ever since I read your post. You are an amazing designer, photographer, and writer. I love your projects. My heart goes out to you and know that you are not alone. I am so sorry that you are going through this, but know that with time you will “heal”. I think that jealousy and insecurity often cause those we consider our friends to cause us such heartache, and in the end I guess they weren’t truly a “true friend”. I am glad that you penned what you are going through right now. I hope that by doing so it helps separate YOU from the wrongs that have been done to you, and that it is a positive step in your healing process. God bless you. I wish I could do more for you, but know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Sending big hugs your way and praying you will find comfort in all of the encouragement from friends posting here and from His word. I love, love, love your artwork and always look forward to seeing your posts although I don’t often comment. I know also what it is like to be alone at home all day long, been looking for a job for over a year now to no avail, but at least I have some freelancing that dribbles in and then, there is always stamping and creating, like a balm to the heart! Just wanted to say I can readily identify with so many of your thoughts.
Big hugs to you my friend. So many people share your pain & more important share your love of art & just you. God loves you & so do I❤️
Hi Wanda,
I just want to send you a hug from San Diego. I, too, have been bullied. Luckily it was in the past, and an older, wiser me would have stood up to it more, rather than just taking it and being depressed by it! I now have the confidence to realize that bullying is the bully’s problem, not mine. I hope you know how much we, your readers, love the way you share your photography, creative inspiration and honesty with us. Have you thought about traveling to teach classes and spend time with fans like me who always want to learn more. I wish you all the best.
Sweet and my most Dear Friend..see what sharing your pain..hurt and feelings…and being open en honest has opened a door filled with LOVE!!
Has helped you and others too..
We are not alone…although when we go through hard times it often feels so…
I think you did such a good thing by sharing this…
YOU are amazing..sweet ..loving…caring … talented and SO dear to me
MUCH LOVE!!
Holly XOXOXOXO
I’m so sorry you’re hurting, Wanda! You are the most talented, creative person out there and maybe there’s a bit of jealousy going on with your “friend”. You are strong and you have so many who love you and support you and we’re here to lift you up. Love you, friend, and I’m sure you know that we all do! Keep doing what you’re doing and keep sharing your talent with us! HUGS!
Sending hugs from the heartland of Missouri, I have those days too!
Your a wonder photographer and crafter,
I enjoy you newsletters and try my best to do a card the way you do!
God gives us strength to get though things, he wants the best for us, have faith, and know your loved by your followers to bad we all can’t just hug you and let you know we’re here for you…
LOVE LOVE LOVE your BEAUTIFUL Photos and your HUGE HEART!! I still remember how EXCITED I was to meet you at the Stamp Joy Event and then I had to have my Accident and have BOTH arms broke with SEVERAL other injuries!! I felt SO SELF conscious and you made me FEEL SO at EASE!! I LOVED getting to meet you and take a Class from you!! You’re AMAZING and DON’T EVER let ANYONE make you think/Feel otherwise!! THANKS for sharing and here’s to EVERYTHING working its way out the Way God has it Planned!! HUGE HUGS!! <3 <3 <3
I read this blog post from my phone the other day and did not have a chance to comment so I am back. First, your photos are STUNNING!! Second, I can totally relate to your blog post. I am 48 and started menopause and have had such a difficult time dealing. I am oversensitive to anything and had to leave work for 3 days because I could not stop crying a couple weeks ago. It was horrible!! Something had happened to make me upset in the first place but my emotions were on overload. I had to go to the MD to get proper meds to help.
I am also sorry someone bullied you. You would think that as adults we would not have to deal with it but I know better. I work in a school and my co-workers are not always the kindest to each other. It is very disheartening because we are supposed to teach this to others and some people can not set a good example themselves. I just try to think of why they are this way and sometimes that helps.
That said, I also can relate that when you are feeling down, it is hard to create. I tend to do a lot of reading when I am like this, as well as just watch tv too. Anything to try to get my mind off of what I am feeling. Big hugs to you!!!
Hi Wanda! I’m so sorry. I feel like I’ve missed so much. Work consumes me. I give my all and I’ve got nothing left. I did manage to honk out my massive greeting cards gifts for the Mother’s Day holiday, but I haven’t even taken pictures of those cards or blogged them either. But hey, I’m kicking it in the work place again and I feel good about that. It pays the bills and I get to buy clothes and crafts stuff! Yay!
Have you heard that phrase, A friend for a Reason or a Season. It’s so true. I have lost a few great relationships. They were great to Me, anyway. We ALL make sacrifices early or late in the game. I loved the analogy of the shoes. We all have Pride and Feelings. I’ve come to realize that Honesty, is not always the best policy no matter how good it’s intentions are and no matter how Right you are. You still have the pride and feelings of the person too. I find that many times, it’s not You or Me, it’s the other person. It’s their hang ups, their problems or their inability to cope with things in their life you have nothing to do with. We all cope differently just like we all grieve or learn differently. And sometimes people are just plain old jealous and don’t know how to deal with their feelings. Keep doing what you’re doing. You have so much talent and love and faith to share. (((Big Hugs))). https://paulettesprettypapercrafts.wordpress.com
I still have the glitch on Typepad blogs with my WP blog address so its typed here. Love Ya Wanda!
Wanda, I’m so sorry to hear about this rough transition in your life and the people who have hurt you. I remember after Brady was born and I started staying home, it was so rough on me. As an extrovert, that lack of people drove me crazy. Maybe if you have days when you just write or edit photos, you could try sitting at a coffee shop? Talk to the cashiers and baristas or at the very least absorb the hustle and bustle of the people. I hope things are looking better for you soon!
Oh, dear Wanda! Why oh why do some people have to be so mean? It’s easy to suggest not wasting time on people like that but it’s still very hurtful and usually unexpected. My DH and I (retired in 2005 & 2004, respectively) worked for large corporations so met lots of people and still socialize with several of them. We often say how nice it would have been to not commute daily, but then we wouldn’t be as acquainted with former coworkers. Because I only know you from SSS and now PTI blog posting, I was under the impression life for you was just grand. You always sounded so enthused in your posts, and it showed in your creativity. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with all these distractions. Hang in there, kiddo! xoxo
Thanks so much for sharing yourself. I hope the sharing helped a little bit. I’m sorry you had to go through being bullied. I hope things continue to go well with your photography. I love your photos of the Tahoe area. They are so great and that area of course is so nice. I really enjoy your card posts too! Thanks for the restaurant mentions since I was in the area recently it helps to have a local make some recommendations. Hang in there.